Following her first year, it was reported to her North
American sponsors that Mariela had passed the year with excellent grades. They happily
responded that they would like to reward her by paying her transportation the coming
year (8th grade). Of course, she and her family were thrilled with
this news. At first glance, this is an excellent idea. Reward a good student. Certainly
makes a good story about the US sponsor save her from a life of poverty, etc.
However, this simple decision to increase support instead of increasing local
collaboration is one that makes us very uncomfortable, especially in the
context of Honduras. Anytime that one human secretly believes that he/she is
saving another, they begin to believe that they are the savior, and the one
rescued begins to see themselves as in need of saving; saving by another
person.
Here is where the story takes a sad, but common turn.
Now, the organization began to give Mariela’s family $3/day provided by the
North American sponsor in order to pay for her transportation. This amount is
sufficient to pay a private mototaxi to take her to and from school from her
front door, no walking, no bus. Thinking
that all was in order, the year continued, and the sponsors continued to
sponsor. Very early in the school year, Mariela’s family realized that the
organization would just be handing them the cash. So they came up with their own plan.
Three dollars a day is a serious amount of money in rural
Honduras, half a day’s wage in the case of Mariela’s town. (Think of getting an
extra $50/day if you’re earning $100/day in the States). The family soon came
up with other ways for the girl to be able to get to school every day without
having to pay. They would find rides
with unknown passersby, or they would make her walk 30 minutes down an isolated
back road, dangerous for anyone, let alone a 15-year old girl in Honduras. After
a time, someone else realized they could probably benefit from the situation.
Local stud Carlos was soon offering to Mariela’s family to give a cheap ride to
pretty, young Mariela. So they began to give a fraction of the $3 to Carlos for
him to leave her in the next town on his motorcycle, and they kept the rest. Carlos
is not a responsible man of faith or even a mildly-responsible one. He’s a
17-year old ladies man (boy?) that has been with every girl in town that has
given him a second of their time, and he has left at least one pregnant and
alone without any thought of providing for either of them. To save you the
entire story… Mariela and Carlos are now boyfriend and girlfriend. They started
secretly, but people eventually found out. The girl who was the most faithful
and promising member of the local church is now dating someone who is quite the
opposite.
Mariela has one of the most difficult home lives we have
seen. She lives with her young mom (whom she calls aunt), her grandma (whom she
calls mom), and several other aunts who sell alcohol illegally and have quite
the reputation as wild, violent women. Various forms of abuse occur in the
household on a daily basis. To share about her home life would be a whole other
story. School has been very hard for her. Trying to keep up is difficult when
you have an unsupportive home life. Mariela has continued in school, even as
her abusive family takes advantage of the money meant for her benefit.
Thankfully, this one girl is furthering her education,
but her family continues to be poor in many ways. As people that care deeply
about our brothers and sisters in need, we must find a way to reach deep-seated
holistic needs, not just the ones perceived by the eyes of an outsider (in this
case educational). We must be careful when
we preach “success stories” stateside about how we are “saving” kids when we
have no idea what is really going on day-to-day. I have seen her sponsor come
and visit several times. It is all smiles, nods, and “everything is good” from
Mariela and her family. Then I walk by their house moments later only to
hear/see abuse once the sponsor is gone. I see her come crying to me after her
mom has hit her because the stress and business of her school workload and travel
is not leaving enough time to do household chores.
We are not saying we have all the answers, but we are
sharing this story to share how important it is that we work towards holistic
development, not just a quick, simple fix.
Also, how important it is to be sure you have ALL the information. Stateside, it is easy to dream up how
beautiful of a job we are doing by “giving,” but what does it really look
like? Holistic development involves the
entire family or the entire community, not just providing one teenager a
sponsorship to go to school. Holistic
development helps a family learn to manage and steward finances. It considers
the systemic issues of lack of transportation, lack of quality local education,
or lack of hope and seeks guidance from community leaders. It opens the door,
steps out of the driver’s seat, takes a big step backwards, and hops in the
back.
True, lasting development takes time, involvement, and
patience. It’s hard. It’s not quick and easy. It’s a gaping wound that we can’t
just put a band-aid on. Development considers the powerful capacity of local people. Instead of trying to constantly
reduce the “load” on beneficiaries, it considers how to truly empower them to
tackle the issues at the local level with what their Savior has given them.
Development listens to stories of local suffering and success and is slow to
respond. It does not quickly provide answers or programs, but instead provides a steady commitment to slow growth.
Our main concern in situations like this one is that
there is no one locally invested in Mariela’s education. If only the NA sponsor is investing then theirs
is the only investment that can be lost.
Not Mariela’s family, nor church, or community has any time, money, or
efforts invested. Yes, the family loses a bit of Mariela’s help around the
house because of her being away or doing homework, but we are witnesses to the
fact this this only seems to make them bitter and angry. We are convinced that in situations such as
these that Asset-Based Community Development (ABCD) is a very effective
intervention. In ABCD, donors come alongside the local church or community in
collaboration or support, not as the movers and shakers, but as the support,
encouragement, and complement. This guarantees
beneficiary buy-in. When there is no
investment, as in Mariela’s case, development often falters or struggles as
oppression fights to overwhelm the hope much as wind assaults a match in the
moment of its lighting.
Mariela is a remarkable young woman. She is committed to
finishing high school despite her circumstances. The scholarship is a key
component of her educational development; we do not want to discourage people
from getting involved and giving towards a better life for those in need, but
we do ask you to consider how and where you give. Always ask specifics about
how funds are administered. Research an organization’s development philosophy.
Consider if your giving is empowering the affected individuals or contributing
to a “can’t do” attitude. Development can be done right, and hundreds of
organizations across the world work hard every day to thoughtfully engage those
in their area of influence. Let’s be serious with our giving. Let’s not just be
sponsors or donors for short term fixes. Let’s be partners in the lives of our
fellow man for the long term.
Thankful for wisdom and insight God has given you and praying we all learn how to help without hurting - wherever God gives us the opportunity. Love you guys!
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